My Jacob or My Edward?
by natiscool
Summary: Alice doesn't tell anyone about her vision of Bella cliff diving and heads to Forks by herself. No phonecall interupts Bella and Jacob. What happens when all the Cullens come back to kill Victoria? Who will Bella choose now? Bella's POV
1. Chapter 1

**My Jacob or My Edward?**

Disclaimer- No copyright is intended. I do not own anything from this story apart from the plot :)

A/N- Hope you guys enjoy, please review.

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**Chapter 1- I Promise.**

_Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face toward me. And I was still absolutely undecided._

"Bella." He murmured his lips an inch away from mine.

"Jacob... I don't want to go through any more pain." I stuttered as I stared into his gentle eyes.

"I'll never hurt you Bella." Jacob stated. "I Promise." Determination was written all over his face.

And that's when he leaned in and pressed his warm lips against mine. It all happened too quickly. I stayed frozen for a couple of seconds, thoughts of Edward overflowed my mind. Then something incredible happened. I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck and I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Jacob must have took this is as a sign to go further. He began to trace his fingers down my back, reaching for the hem of my shirt. He lifted it up slightly, revealing the skin of my lower back which caused me to shiver. This was when I realised it had gone too far. I broke away from the kiss and looked away, feeling the blood rush to my face.

"Bella, you're beautiful." Jacob said as he brushed my hair off of my face.

"You don't want me Jacob, I'm broken." I replied as I fixed my gaze on the floor. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

"I'll always want you Bella, always." He said as he lifted my chin, causing me to look into his eyes. "I can hear Alice coming, I'll leave you guys to talk."

"You'll come back?" I asked him.

"Of course." He answered with a smile as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Bella?" Alice said as she approached me.

"What's up Alice?" I asked.

"I'm going to head back and tell my family what's going on with Victoria." I winced when she said MY family. "Before it gets out of hand." She added.

"OK. But you'll let me know what's going on right?" I asked. I was worried that she would leave me again. "Will I see you again?"

"Of course Bella. This isn't just your problem, it's all of ours. We brought you into this." Alice replied with sorrow in her eyes. "And you need us. Those dogs obviously haven't helped much."

"That's not true Alice." I shot back suddenly offended. "They've done more than enough."

"We'll see." Alice said as she hugged me and then left.

"Call me, please." I yelled out as she closed the front door.

Once Alice was gone, I went upstairs and had a shower for two reasons. One, because I knew Jacob didn't like how her smelt lingered on my skin. And two because I just needed to clear my head, relax and think. The whole that was once punched into my chest was healing more rapidly due to Jacob and my encounter. I suddenly felt that a weight had been pulled off of my shoulders but I knew I needed more time, so I buried the new feelings I had for Jacob in the back of my mind. I had other things to worry about anyway. Like if Alice and "her" family were actually going to return to forks. Could I really cope with seeing Edward? I turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower, suddenly having my epiphany. I knew the answer to that last question – Yes, I could cope with seeing him again. He needs to know how much he hurt me and how much his decision affected my life. But then it struck me again. As if he cared anyway, he said he didn't want me anymore.

I wrapped a large blue towel around my torso and started to walk to my bedroom.

"Jacob!" I said startled as I walked into my bedroom. Trust this to happen on the one day I don't bring my pyjamas with me to the bathroom.

"Oh... err, sorry. I'll just leave so you can get um dressed." He stammered as he walked out of my bedroom, closing the door behind him.

I walked over to my closet and chucked on the first pair of pyjamas I saw. I looked into the mirror and saw my cheeks were completely red. I needed a minute to just calm down.

"Hey." I said as I opened my bedroom door, motioning him to come inside.

"We need to talk." He said sternly, but then he pulled me into a tight hug.

It felt good wrapped in his arms, I felt warm and at home. I quickly put those thoughts to the back of my mind again, I needed to concentrate.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, still pressed against his bare chest.

"What's happening with Alice?" He said. "I thought she was staying longer."

"She's gone to inform everyone about Victoria." I answered. All of a sudden, I felt Jacob begin to quiver.

"Is... is... he, coming back?" he asked.

I sighed. "I don't know Jacob. I'm not even sure if Alice will tell him. She said that she doesn't see Edward anymore." I could feel it was getting easier to talk about Edward.

"I'm scared Bells." Jacob said as he let me go and looked away.

What would Jacob be scared of? I thought he was confident with killing Victoria.

"Of what?" I asked as I sat down on my bed.

"That once Edward comes back, you'll leave me." Jacob answered as walked to my bed and sat down next to me.

"I'm scared Jacob. That you'll imprint and lose your feelings for me." I replied, trying to avoid the topic of Edward right now.

"That won't happen Bella. My feelings are so strong for you that I don't see any other girls, I only see you. I've loved you since I saw you that first day on First Beach." He said looking into my eyes.

"But look what happened to Sam and Leah." I pressed.

"My feelings for you go way deeper than any imprint." He stated.

"Jacob, you should know that the feelings I have for Edward have changed." I wasn't sure if that statement was completely true but it felt good to say anyway. "Besides, he left me, he doesn't want me anymore."

"I want you Bella." Jacob said leaning towards me. "More than anything I've ever wanted."

"I need you Jacob." I said. "More than anything I've ever needed. I love you."

He then pulled me into a firm embrace and whispered into my ear. "I know it's only as much as you can right now and I understand. I'll wait Bella."

"Thank you." I replied as I melted into his warm embrace.


	2. Chapter 2

**My Jacob or My Edward?**

**Chapter 2: Understanding**

When Jake finally left, I discovered the time was 5:30 and that I would be expecting Charlie home from the funeral any minute. I had just pulled the steak and potatoes out of the oven when Charlie walked through the door. He looked so lifeless.

"Oh dad, I'm sorry." I whispered as I hugged him as hard as I could manage.

"I'm alright Bells, I'm just really gonna miss him, you know? I've decided that I'm going to be at the Clearwaters' place a lot so I can help out Sue. She's a complete mess." He gave me a sad smile before heading over to his favourite couch.

"No worries Dad, dinner will be ready soon, so you just relax." I called out to him as I made my way to the kitchen. Once everything was cooked, I dished it all up on a plate and placed it on the table as Charlie made his way over.

"Smells great Bells." He said.

"Thanks." I replied as we both started to dig in.

After a couple of bites, Charlie broke into conversation.

"So, where is Alice today?" He asked as he raised an eyebrow.

Crap! I didn't think of any excuses for why she had come and was gone again.

"Umm... She went to go see Carlisle and her family, apparently they might be back here for a while." I tried to lie smoothly, not wanting to let him know that a mad vampire was on the loose.

"Bells, are you really ready to see Edward so soon, I mean, he just hurt you so much and I don't want you to go through that when he picks up and leaves again." He stated.

I started to pick at my food while I thought for a reply.

"Dad, my feelings for Edward have started to change and I'm finally getting over how much he hurt me. Also, Jake and I have become closer, and I'm pretty sure that he is the reason why I feel this way." I looked away once I said it, I wasn't comfortable talking about this stuff with my dad.

"Ok, Bells, I trust you. Just don't make any quick decisions that you will regret." He said and then got back to eating his dinner.

When we finished dinner, Charlie said, "That was wonderful Bells." and got up and returned to his favourite couch to watch the rest of the game.

I finished the dishes and after saying goodnight to Charlie, I made my way upstairs towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and make my way to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow I knew I was exhausted but I was silently hoping that tonight would be nightmare-free for Charlie's sake. I was on the verge of falling into a deep sleep when I heard the light snores of my dad next door and knew he was asleep. I was just about to plunge into the peaceful darkness behind my eyes when I heard a loud thump in my room near my window. My eyes shot open and I sat up quickly in my bed.

"Sorry to startle you." Jacob whispered as he walked over to me.

"Oh Jake, I thought I was going to have a heart attack!" I said. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to make sure you have a peaceful night's sleep." He cracked me a smile and made his way over to my bed. "Scoot over".

I wasn't quite certain how I felt about this, but I "scooted over" for Jacob's sake. I felt Jacob squash in beside me and wrap his arms around me.

"Good night Bells." He whispered huskily into my ear.

"Good night Jacob" I replied as I soon drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

We both woke up abruptly the next morning when my phone started to ring.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hi Bella, It's Alice." As soon as she said that, I heard a low growl escape Jacob's mouth.

"Hey Alice, what's going on?" I asked.

"Turns out we are all moving back to forks Bella, we'll be back in our old house tonight, we just have a few things to take care of right now." Alice replied.

"Oh, that's great Alice." I said not really sure if I meant it though.

"Bella, we need to speak to you, there's so much to explain. Will you come over this evening?" She asked me.

"Uh... I don't know Alice." I answered. I'm not sure if I could handle going back to that house, seeing Edward and then getting hurt again.

"Please Bella, let us explain, for me?" she asked.

"Oh... Umm, I guess, only for a couple of minutes though." I replied.

"Sure thing Bella. I'll see you around 5 o'clock ok?" she said.

"OK Alice." I Responded then hung up.

I turned around to face Jacob, he was still sitting on the bed, shaking, with a growl escaping his lips every so often, I could see he was trying to get a grip on himself.

"Jacob" I sighed, as I placed my hand on his cheek.

And like magic, he began to calm down.

"Don't go there Bella, please." He said.

"I have to Jacob, they need to explain everything and even though I know I will not enjoy it at all, I know this has to be done. Then I can come home to you, my Jacob." I answered with a smile.

"No Bella, you don't understand like I do. They hurt you so much, all of them and I don't want you to just go running back into their arms like they have been here the whole time." He said, shaking slightly.

"Jake, I am not that oblivious towards them and what they have done. Yes, they have all hurt me by leaving and I am not going to forgive them that easily especially Edward, but I feel this has to be done." I said placing my hand back on his cheek. "Please." I whispered.

He sighed. "You know you will be crossing the treaty line, I won't be able to go protect you while you're there. "

"I won't need protection while I'm with them Jacob." I said, trying so hard not to hurt his feelings.

"Just take your cell phone with you and please call me if you need me. I will be worrying and thinking about you every second you are away from me." He replied.

"Thank you Jacob." I pecked my lips softly to his to show my gratitude. "This means a lot to me."

"Please, for me, please Bella don't hurt me." Jacob said as he leaned in and intensified the kiss, again misunderstanding my intentions. We ended up making out on my bed for a good ten minutes before he pulled away. "Charlie is coming. I'll see you when you get back from the Cullen's." He spat the last word before he jumped out the window.


	3. Chapter 3

**My Jacob or My Edward?**

**Chapter 3- Anxiety**

I spent the drive to the Cullens' house in complete worry. I was excited to see them all again (except Rosalie) but I was also hesitant.

I took a deep breath once I parked my Chevy in their driveway and walked up to their house.

Of course, Alice was standing at the front door already. "Hi Bella." She sang.

"Hi Alice." I replied giving her a hug. I had missed her so much when she left, she was my best friend. Even though it stung, I was happy to be around her again.

"Umm Bella, before we all talk. We thought it would be best if Edward talk to you." She said. "He means well."

I took a deep breath. I didn't know if I could do this. I still loved him, but he didn't love me. I was mad at him and I didn't want to go through all of this again. I wasn't even sure if I could handle looking at him. He hurt me so much but I wanted to see him at the same time. I wanted to hear his beautiful voice, see his perfect face and feel his remarkable presence.

"Ok Alice." I managed to reply. My voice was only a low whimper.

She nodded and then with perfect grace, walked back into her house. Soon after, Edward walked out.

I stared at him, I was utterly dumbfounded and I had lost my voice.

He was still magnificent, he still had his perfect features and I knew still loved him. I could feel the tears start to fill in my eyes but I managed to brush them aside. I didn't want to show any weakness around him.

"Bella." Edward whispered. My god had I missed him saying my name, it sent shivers down my spine.

I couldn't open my mouth just yet, let alone reply. I was scared I was going to shout out something I would regret.

"Bella." Edward said again, walking closer to me.

"Edward." I managed to say.

"I missed you." He said gazing at me.

Am I dreaming? Yes, I must be dreaming. I managed to discreetly pinch myself. Ow! Ok then, I'm not dreaming.

"You're the one that left." I answered him.

"Bella, you must understand." He said. "I left for your own good."

I just stood there looking at him. I didn't know what to say so I just shook my head slowly.

"Bella, I left because I thought it was the best thing for you." He said, his eyes staring sincerely at mine.

"You said you didn't want me, you said you didn't...l-love me." I stuttered.

Edward sighed. "And you believed me so easily, Bella I lied. I left because I didn't want me and my family to be a danger to you anymore." His voice almost sounded pleading.

"You left so easily." I said. I was so thankful he couldn't read my mind.

"No Bella, it wasn't easy at all. I managed to leave because I thought it would be best for you. I loved and cared for you so much I managed to leave because we were a danger to you." He replied. "I missed you so much every day Bella, but I thought I was doing you best."

"It didn't do any good Edward. You left me broken and hurt and to top it off, Laurent tried to kill me and Victoria still is."

"Please understand, every day I was gone, I missed you more and more. I had to restrain myself so much to not come back, I wanted the best for you. I thought you were safe from Laurent and Victoria as Alice was keeping a look out for them. But it turns out Alice can't see into the future with those dogs in the way." Edward said. "I'm so sorry Bella, will you forgive me?" He pleaded.

Was I imaging this? Edward left to protect me? He did it because he cared for me? His intentions were good? I had gone for so long thinking that he didn't want me anymore. Could it really be that he just wanted what he thought was the best for me?

"I love you Bella. Always have, always will." He said as he walked up to me and stroked his hand across my cheek.

"I missed you Edward, so much." I said as a couple of tears escaped from my eyes.

I wasn't ready to tell him how much I love him just yet.

Edward leaned in, his cool lips were an inch apart from mine. I was so tempted to just indulge into his kiss, but I turned away.

"You don't want me anymore Bella?" Edward asked. I could see the pain he felt spread across his face.

"I don't know Edward, I need time to adjust." I answered. "What if you leave again?"

"Bella, I'm never ever leaving you again. I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to." Edward said.

"Thank you." I replied.

"Oh and Bella, Alice never wanted to leave you. She was devastated when we had to leave. Everyone left because I told them it was what's best for you. They've all missed you so much." He said. "Come on, everyone wants to see you."

"Ok." I responded as we walked up to their house together.

"Bella!" I heard my name called out around 5 times.

"We've missed you so much." Esme said as she came over to me and pulled me into a hug.

"I've missed you all too." I replied.

"How have you been Bella?' Esme asked.

Oh you know, I was completely depressed for around 4 months. I couldn't get to sleep at night, fearing my own dreams and waking up Charlie with my screams. I was going delusional. I was putting myself in hazardous and life threatening situations thinking if I would, I could see Edward. I almost got bitten by a blood thirsty vampire called Laurent and I found out another crazy vampire on the loose called Victoria wants to torture me to avenge her dead partner who also tried to kill me last year.

"I've been alright Esme." I lied, I knew she was just checking on me.

"Bella, we are going to have a meeting with the pack later on tonight." Carlisle said. "We are going to discuss about our treaty and form a plan that will help us capture Victoria."

No! Not a good idea. Jacob and Edward together! Edward will see all the private moments me and Jacob have had. Thinking of that, what am I going to do? How will I chose now? I love both Jacob and Edward and surprisingly they both love me.

"It's alright Bella." Edward whispered into my ear. He must have noticed my sudden change of emotion. "Everything will be fine, we'll get rid of Victoria."

"Thanks everyone, I really appreciate this. I need to head back home to make dinner and Charlie will be wondering where I am." I said.

"We'll see you soon Bella." Carlisle said.

"Bye" I called out after receiving hugs from everyone apart from Rosalie.

Edward walked me to my truck and pecked me on the lips before I drove off. That was acceptable right? Friends peck each other on the lips sometimes.

The drive back home was just as scary as driving to the Cullens. But this time, I now had to face Jacob.

I parked my truck and walked inside, I knew Jacob would be waiting in my room.

"Hey Bells," Charlie called out from his couch. "I ordered pizza."

"Thanks Dad. I'm just going to go have a shower and then I'll come back down." I replied as I walked up the stairs and into my bedroom.

"Hey." Jacob said while sitting on my bed.

"Hey." I replied as I walked over and joined him.

"So, what happened at the Cullens'?" He asked.

"Well apparently they're going to have a meeting with you and the pack later tonight." I said, trying to avoid the topic of Edward. "To discuss Victoria and the treaty."

"Well yeah but I'm not going." He explained "Only Sam, Jared and Paul are going from our pack because only Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper are coming."

Relief swept over me. "Why is that?" I asked, trying to prolong this subject.

"Because, the pack doesn't want Edward in our heads while they discuss this subject. Sam is going to stay in his human form to communicate while Jared and Paul stand back in their wolf forms." Jacob explained.

"Oh." Was all I replied.

"So what did the blood suckers say?' Jacob questioned. "Did they apologise for leaving or something?"

"Well it turns out they only left because Edward thought it was best for me without him and his family..." I answered.

"He's right Bella, you are better off without them." Jacob stated.

"Umm, yeah." I answered, he had taken that answer the wrong way.

"What did Edward say to you Bella?' Jacob was starting to quiver now.

"Jake, are you alright?" I asked him.

"Answer the question." He retorted, shaking more violently.

"Jake you're shaking like mad" I said. "Calm down."

"You're back with him!" He snarled. "Aren't you?" Jake was shaking way out of control. I was expecting him to phase any moment soon.

"No! No I'm not." I said with frustration.

"What?" he asked, beginning to calm down.

"You heard me." I said.

"Well why didn't you say so before?" he asked.

"Because you scared me Jacob. You were shaking so violently, and losing your temper." I complained.

"I'm sorry Bells, I'm a bit protective when it comes to the Cullens." He pointed out.

"Yeah I figured." I responded.

"I feel a lot better now though, I was worrying all day that you'd change your mind on the Cullens." He said.

"What do you mean by change my mind?" I asked.

"You know, let them off the hook and forgive them." He answered.

"Jake, don't you get it, there's nothing to forgive." I said, hoping he wouldn't start shaking again.

"What do you mean Bella?" He asked.

"They left for me. After everything that happened, Edward wanted them all to leave because he felt that I was in danger when I was with them."

"But he didn't want you anymore." Jacob responded quietly.

"He lied to me Jake. He only said that because it was the only way I'd let him go." I answered.

And to that Jacob got off my bed, jumped out of my window, phased and ran into the forest.


	4. Chapter 4

**My Jacob or My Edward?**

**Chapter 4: Lost**

I sat there on my bed frozen, I could feel tears literally pouring down my face and filling up my eyes. Jacob had only jumped out of my window less than a minute ago and here I was, just sitting here like a statue. I should be running after him. I should be... but would that hurt him more?

I thought about all the pros and cons of what would happen if I go after Jacob, I decided I would.

So I grabbed my coat and ran down the stairs as fast as I could only soon to be stopped by Charlie as I passed the living room.

"The pizza is getting cold Bella." Charlie said as he got up from his seat.

"Sorry, Ch- Dad." I replied. "I'll be right back."

"Bells... Are you crying? What happened?" Charlie asked as concern and worry began to form all over his face.

"Um, It's Jacob, I'll be right back, ok?" I answered.

I didn't even bother to hearing Charlie's reply, I ran straight out the front door and across the road into the dark forest.

"JACOB! JACOB PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN!" The tears where still flowing uncontrollably down my face as I kept running in the forest. I was in a desperate search for him but the tears blurred my vision. I couldn't let him go that easily. He was Jacob. My Jacob. We had been through so much together. But then there was Edward... "NO!" I told myself, I wouldn't think about Edward while I was searching for Jacob.

"JACOB!!" Still no sign of him. I felt so helpless. A helpless little human, just like always, causing pain to everyone I love.

I needed to explain to Jacob that even though the Cullens left me, I still loved them. Yes, they had hurt me, but it was for my safety. Doesn't that show that they still love me? I thought so.

I couldn't lose Jacob. He played such a big role in my life, he meant too much.

I sat down on a rock, feeling like I couldn't possibly go any further.

"Jacob." I begged as my voice was breaking.

I placed my head in my hands as the tears kept coming. I couldn't stop them. I missed Jacob too much and he had only been gone for about an hour. I couldn't stand it.

_What am I going to do? Edward wants me back and now I have hurt Jacob. __I need Jacob, like the air I breathe._

I looked up from my hands and searched around me. I had no idea how far I had stumbled into the forest. I was lost. Great! It looks like history is replaying itself but this time Jacob has left me. Another thing to add to my list.

Things have gone way out of line. Everything is all too complicated and I've got this awful feeling in my gut. It's like I have to choose between my first love who has claimed my heart once again and my best friend who I just realised I had feelings for. I need to make a decision soon, I couldn't keep them hanging like this, they didn't deserve it and I didn't deserve such great people.

I kept reassuring myself that Jacob left because he was about to phase, not because he wanted to leave me, but deep down I knew I didn't believe it.

I cried more and more until there were no more tears to come. I kept calling out Jacob's name in hope that he would show up but I had no such luck.

It had been nearly 3 hours later, and Jacob still hadn't come back. I was almost certain someone from his pack would've told him I was here and waiting for him. Maybe this was it. Maybe I had really driven Jacob away this time.

All of a sudden, a twig behind me snapped. I turned around swiftly and I was suddenly face to face with...

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**I need your opinion, please leave a review of who you want this person to be... Edward or Jacob?**

**Let me know!**

**I'm sorry for the short chapter and massive cliffy, I will make it up for you next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**My Jacob or My Edward?**

A/N- I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed and messaged me, they all ment a lot. So please review again, they really do motivate me. I'm all open for suggestions.

OK, I hope you like this chapter. Jacob fans might be a bit annoyed at me but don't worry, he'll come around.

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**Chapter 5- Hurt**

_All of a sudden, a twig behind me snapped. I turned around swiftly and I was suddenly face to face with Edward._

"Bella." He whispered, slowly walking towards me.

"Edward." I whispered back. I was still amazed that he was here in Forks. I was so used to believing that he didn't want me and he wasn't coming back, yet here he stood, less than 5 feet away from me with a devoted look on his face.

"Alice had a vision of you walking in the forest alone and upset. Are you okay? What happened?" He came and sat next to me on the rock I was currently perched on. I didn't stop him, as I knew I needed some sort of comforting at the moment. I placed my head back in my hands, trying to get my breathing back to normal and also trying to stop the waterworks.

"Bella... Love, what's wrong?" As he said this, he placed his strong cold arm around my waist, while placing his other on my knee. I should have flinched away or removed his hand but I couldn't. It felt nice to be back in his arms where I always thought I belonged.

"It's Jacob... He knew I came to see you and he got upset. I tried to find him, but failed... just like I always do." More tears started to fall down my face as I remembered just how much pain I had put Jacob through. Kissing him, expressing my feelings to him, almost giving him my heart and then throwing it back in his face.

Edward of course, growled at the mention of Jacob's name but he continued to rub smooth circles on my back, attempting to soothe me.

"Is that one of the dogs? Did he hurt you, Bella? Because if he did... I swear..." Edward growled even louder than before.

"Yes, he's one of the werewolves and no, Jake would never hurt me. He was just upset with me. It was my fault." I looked up from my hands and into Edward's mesmerizing eyes.

"Bella, this isn't your fault. You had no idea I was coming back. You were moving on, just like I told you to. He can't blame you for something you can't control." His golden eyes were piercing into mine.

"He doesn't understand that there is nothing to forgive with you or your family. You moved for my safety and you had no idea that Victoria would come back for vengeance. He doesn't get it and he doesn't want to." I said, wishing that this would all go away.

The tears started again. I missed Jacob now more than ever and I was the one who had chased him off. I didn't even get to explain anything. I needed to find him but I wanted to spend some more time with Edward, seeing as this was only the second time I have seen him in 6 months.

"Bella, I will always be here for you. Whether you stay with Jacob or not. I care for you too much to let you go. But you should know, that I will continue to fight for you with every fibre of my being. I know this may not be the best time but I needed to let you know. I'm sorry." Edward said, as he had flashed me one of my favourite crooked smiles that I had missed so much.

"Don't be Edward, I understand... and thank you." I replied, I was still captured in his compelling eyes, my gaze would not leave them.

Then Edward unexpectedly placed both his hands around my cheeks. His look was uncertain, as if he was debating in his head if he should do something or not. I had a pretty good feeling what he was about to do and I had no idea how I was going to react.

He then leant forward, our faces just inches apart.

"I love you Bella." He said softly, his breath smelt like peppermint and it tickled my face.

"I love you too Edward." My voice softly confessed, it felt good to finally say it, and it felt so good to hear it from him.

He leant forward slowly, his luscious lips were just a millimetre from mine now, he was obviously waiting for me to make the last move.

And to my astonishment I decided I would, I was just so tempted and I had missed the feeling of his tender lips on mine. I bent forward slightly and felt his cold lips touch mine but for only a quick second when I abruptly bounced back as we both heard a loud howl call from the distance.

"Jacob!" I said as I stood up, feeling horrible for what might have happened.

"Bella, where are you going?" Edward said, as I started to get up, his voice sounded hurt.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I have to find him. Thank you." I pecked his cheek before I began to run off.

I didn't wait for Edward's reply, I was to wrapped up in my thoughts of Jacob. Adrenaline was suddenly rushing through my veins as I strived to find where Jacob was. Atleast Edward had the brains to let me run off.

"JACOB!" I yelled out.

I precipitously heard another howl but this time it was louder so I knew I was getting closer to him. I kept running the same way calling out his name every so often and panting frequently. I fell over a couple of times, scratching and scraping my arms and dirtying my jeans but I didn't care. I knew I was just seconds away from my Jacob as I heard one last howl.

And then I finally spotted him, he must of just changed from his wolf form when he knew I getting closer.

"Bella." He said looking at the ground, his voice sounded grim.

"Jacob." I said as I ran up to him. "What happened?"

"Don't you think I should be asking you?" He shot back. Great! He was mad at me!

"You jumped out of my window before I got to explain anything." I said to him.

"It was obvious you didn't want to talk about it Bella." He said.

"That's not true, I was just nervous." I answered. "I was confused and I didn't know what to do...I still don't."

"So you keep me hanging like I'm your back up plan?" Jacob said. "This isn't a game Bella, I'm not a reserve you can just choose to send in when you like."

"You know it's not like that at all Jacob." I was shocked he would say something like that. "You know I love you."

"You love me?" Jacob said. "And what's that supposed to mean? You love me like a brother? Like a friend? Like a pet? It's not the same Bella, you're not in love with me!"

Jacob was really starting to tick me off now. He knew that that wasn't true either.

"I'm pretty sure friends or siblings don't kiss each other Jacob." I blushed as I said that. "I just need time, OK? You told me you would wait."

"Don't even get me started on kissing Bella!" Jacob yelled, he was shaking now. "I know you kissed Edward, Paul saw it, which means I saw it."

So Paul was watching me and Edward. That means Jacob must have seen it all through Pauls thoughts, I suddenly felt embarrassed.

And then another thought hit me, if Paul could see Edward wouldn't that mean that Edward would've heard or smelt him too? Or be able to hear his thoughts? I suddenly felt annoyed at Edward for not telling me Paul was there. I was beginning to just feel mad at everyone. I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes again.

"Well if you saw it, then you'll know that it wasn't a kiss." I answered. "It was barely even a peck."

"You only pulled away because you heard me howl." He answered, fixing his gaze on the ground. I felt terrible for Jacob, even though he was mad at me and saying hurtful things, it was because I had ticked him off. He looked so upset, almost heartbroken.

"I'm glad you howled." I responded my voice was only a whimper. I didn't know what else to say back, it was completely true.

Jacob sighed. "Come on Bella, I'll walk you home."

"No!" I cried. "Can't we finish this?" I was scared he was going to take me home and never talk to me again.

"Finish what Bella?" Jacob answered. "Finish the part where you leave me for the blood sucker? Because I can't take that Bella, I'm in pain too ok? It hurts to know that the person you love doesn't love you back the same way, it hurts that you used me, and now you've gone running back to Edward."

Wow! That definitely stung.

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore as they began to pour down my face. I quickly looked away, I didn't want him to see my crying. I even started sobbing, I just couldn't handle this pain, and I couldn't handle the thought of how I had hurt Jacob.

Then without warning my vision began to blur and I felt the need to hold something to steady myself. My knees felt weak and out of know where I had a massive headache. And that's when I abruptly fell backwards and smashed on to the forest floor.

As I lay on the floor, I could hear Jacob run up to me, and shake my shoulder softly.

"Bella? Can you hear me? Bella?" Jacob pleaded, I could hear the panic in his voice."Bella! I'm so sorry! Please Bella. Wake up or say something."

I desperately wanted to, but I couldn't. I didn't want him to think that this was his fault either. I definitely wanted to tell him how sorry I was but I was too weak and hurt. I felt Jacob softly wiggle my shoulder and call out my name a couple more times until I lapsed into unconsciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Stuck in the middle.**

**Chapter 6- Decisions**

I had no idea how long I had been asleep for when I had woken up in my bed. I was all stiff and unfocused, plus my head was still throbbing from when I had fallen. But I had other things to worry about. I began to stretch out my legs and arms when I heard someone murmur a soft "Bella".

I sat up quickly in my bed and scanned my room. Jacob was sitting on my rocking chair, staring at me gravely. He looked tired and upset. I, on the other hand couldn't be happier that Jacob had actually stayed. Relief shot through me.

"Jake." I sighed. "What happened?"

"Well you fainted in the forest. I carried you back to your house but Charlie took you from there. He's mad at me." Jacob said. "I'm mad at me too."

"Why is he mad at you? Why are you mad at yourself?" I questioned. Shouldn't he be mad at me?

"Because it's my fault you passed out Bella." Jacob said sadly. "I'm sorry."

"No Jake, It's my fault." I answered. How could he find a way to blame himself for this?

"You were right, I have treated you unfairly. I'm just so confused about everything." I admitted.

Jacob shook his head. "I didn't mean those things that I said in the forest. I was just, upset."

"But it's true Jacob and I'm the one that should be sorry." I confessed as I got up from my bed and approached him. "Please forgive me."

Jacob stood up and pulled me into a hug. Just like always, I felt warm and comfortable. But I also felt that Jacob was holding back, like he didn't want to get to close.

"How long was I out for?" I asked against his chest. I didn't want to break away from his hug just yet.

"Just a day." Jacob answered as he held me. "Charlie's downstairs, you should go see him."

"I will soon." I said as I looked up to him and stared into his eyes. "Thanks for staying here, with me."

I felt Jake shudder. "I should get going. Dad is waiting for me and I have patrol." He said as he pulled away.

"Wait!" I pleaded. "Jake, are you mad at me?" I figured if it would keep him here longer, I would just keep asking him anything.

Jake sighed. "I'm not mad at you." I couldn't read his face.

"Then why are you acting so strangely?" I asked. I wasn't use to this type of Jacob.

"Because I don't want you to break my heart." He answered as he changed his focus onto the ground.

Wow, that caught me off guard. I would never ever intentionally break Jacob's heart.

"Oh." Was all I managed to say. He should know that it would break my heart too.

Jacob turned around. "I need to get to patrol." He said miserably.

"Don't go." I felt a couple of tears escape from my eyes. I didn't want him to leave. But was I hurting him more by asking him to stay?

"Bella. Answer one question for me, please." He said, his face looked almost uncertain.

"OK." Was all I said. Where was he going with this?

"How much do you love me?" Jacob asked.

"I love you, so much Jake." I answered truthfully, he already knew that.

Jacob shook his head. "More than Edward?" He asked.

Now that was a question I didn't have answer for. I just stared at him like a deer caught in head lights.

"When you know the answer, you let me know. OK?" Jacob said.

I tried to hold back the tears but even more started to shed down my face. It annoyed me how I had no control over my crying.

Jacob sighed again. "Bella, please don't cry." He said as he brushed the tears away with his thumb.

"I'm fine." I grimaced.

"I really need to go." He said as he turned around and headed out of my window.

"Bye." I muttered as I watched him run away.

I stared out the window for a good 10 minutes. What was happening? I walked over to window, shut it and then locked it. I needed to be by myself for a while.

I walked back over to my bed and curled up onto it. I started thinking back to that day in the forest, when I had kissed Edward. The question was, if Edward knew Paul was there, why didn't he say anything or stop me before I kissed him? He knew Jacob would have found out.

_Was he trying to make Jacob jealous or something? Ugh, just what I need._

It angered me that he knew Paul was in the shadows and didn't say anything.

I also started to think about what Edward and I had discussed; the love that we still had for one another. I'm not sure if I can take this any longer. I officially am in love with both Edward and Jacob. And god knows why, they both are in love with me.

I can't keep one happy without hurting the other. So what the hell do I do now?

I can't just go up to one of them and say "I choose you" but I can't just keep them both waiting. It's hurting them both and it's hurting me. I've never felt like this way in my whole life. I can't decide, I can't choose. This is like asking a mother to choose between her children, it's impossible. But in my case it has to be done... soon.

I made my way down the stairs slowly, not quite sure what I would say to Charlie. The time was half past five. I figured I could make some dinner and suck up to Charlie, I was starving anyway.

"Hi dad." I said as I approached him with a feeble smile.

"Oh Bella. How you feeling?" He asked as he turned his gaze away from T.V.

"Better thanks. I'm just about to start on dinner." I replied, hoping that was all he'd say.

"Would you like to explain to me what you were doing in the forest alone, again?" Charlie asked beginning to show a bit of anger.

"Um... I went for a walk to find Jacob and I guess I was dehydrated or something and I fainted. That's when Jake found me." I mentally slapped myself, what a terrible lie.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was? You didn't come back till midnight. And you were passed out!" Charlie said.

"I know Dad, I'm sorry." I said.

"Bella, I don't want you to ever go into those woods again. OK?" Charlie warned. "It's not safe."

"OK dad." I answered, not really sure if I was lying or not.

Charlie nodded and then returned to watching his game. I walked off to the kitchen and turned on the stove, starting to cook some Spaghetti.

Once the Spaghetti was finished, I dished it up and served it on the table. Dinner with Charlie was quite awkward; he was still annoyed about everything. I was actually quite relieved about Charlie's reaction, I was expecting a lot worse.

After I finished washing the dishes I went back upstairs and took a nice long shower. It hadn't occurred to me until then that I hadn't taken one in around 2 days.

It was around nine o'clock when my phone started to ring. I answered it quickly and made the mistake of not looking at the caller I.D before I answered it.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella, are you alright?" A soft velvety voice asked.

I sighed, it was Edward. This was not helping with the whole trying to sort out my feelings thing.

"I'm fine Edward. I just needed some time to myself after Jacob left."

"Jacob was there? In your room?" He snarled.

"Yes. Are you mad at me now?" I asked. Great more people to be mad at me!

"No. It's just I haven't seen you since you ran off in the forest. Now your window is locked shut but Jacob Black is allowed to see you." I could tell he was having trouble saying Jacob instead of something rude like mutt or dog.

"Jacob saw me kiss you Edward. I had to make it right with him because I hurt him. It kills me to know that I am hurting you both while spending time with the other. Look, I can't have this conversation over the phone, it's not right." I sighed quietly, this was getting more difficult than I could handle.

"Then open your window love. I made the biggest mistake by leaving and now I can't bare to stay away from you for more than a couple of hours." I could just imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose as he said this.

"I know Edward, it's unbearable for me too. I just couldn't be unfair to Jake." I tried to explain.

"I understand." He said quietly.

"I have to go, I can hear Charlie coming up the stairs." I whispered. "I think he hates me right now."

"He doesn't hate you, sweetheart. Can I come up tonight, when Charlie is asleep?" He asked.

I sighed. "OK." How could I refuse him?

"Thank you Bella, I love you." Edward said, sounding happier.

"I love you to, I have to go." I hung up quickly and hid the phone just in time before Charlie came in.

"Were you just talking on the phone?" Charlie questioned.

"Yes." I answered, I couldn't fib if he heard me.

"Well, to whom?" Charlie said.

"Alice." I lied. "Apparently all of the Cullens are moving back."

Charlie's expression changed to concern. "Are you alright Bells? You know...with Edward."

I smiled at him. "I'll be fine dad."

"Why are they moving back?" Charlie asked.

_Because some crazy vampire called Victoria is on the loose and wants to torture me to death._

"The hospital really needs Carlisle back and he missed it there to." I lied. I was getting better at this lying, probably because I had been doing it so much.

"OK." Charlie said, taking everything in. "Well goodnight Bells." He said as he gave me an awkward side hug.

"Goodnight dad." I replied.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7- Caught**

I became more and more nervous as I sat on my bed and waited for Edward. So I decided to have another shower to try to relax and because I knew it would take up time.

This alone time felt so good that I stayed in the shower longer than normal. I had so much to consider about, it hurt my brain to think. I knew that I loved Jacob but I also knew that I loved Edward. Which one did I love more? I had no idea.

I decided it was time to get out so I dried myself off, got dressed and brushed my teeth. As I made my way to my room I became even more nervous. I had a feeling Edward would be in there by now, waiting for me.

It still felt weird to spend time with Edward after he was gone for so long. I had so many questions I still wanted to ask him and I was happy that I would get the chance to ask him tonight.

When I got to my bedroom, Edward was sitting on my bed with his back to me. His shoulders looked a little tense, indicating that he must be upset about something. I walked over to him slowly and sat next to him.

"Are you okay, Edward?" I asked, while I grabbed his hand in my own.

"Charlie went to sleep early tonight." He stated, not even answering my question.

"Edward why are you like this? What's wrong?" I asked again.

He sighed. "I don't deserve you, Bella." Edward let go of my hand and looked away as he said this.

"What?" I asked a little shocked. How ironic coming from him. It was always me thinking that I didn't deserve such an amazing and perfect man like Edward.

"I left you and I told you to move on and you did. But it kills me to see you with Jacob. I'm so selfish but I just love you so much Bella. I just don't think you deserve someone like me." He sighed, not looking me in the eye.

"Edward, look at me." He finally turned his head towards me and looked me in the eye, so I continued.

"If it's anyone, it's me that doesn't deserve you. I have always loved you, I still do but some things have changed. I feel the same way for Jacob and it's not easy to just turn those feelings off. You hurt me so bad when you left. I understand why you did it but what I don't understand is how you didn't talk to me about it like it didn't concern me at all. Why didn't you ask me what I thought about the matter?" I said, my gaze still fixed into his compelling eyes.

"Bella, you would have made it so hard for me to stick to my decision and leave you like I planned. You would have talked me out of it and even though it was for your benefit, you wouldn't have cared because you are such an unselfish person." He played with my fingers as he said this.

I didn't say anything back to that. I knew it was true. I just continued to stare at his flawless face.

"I am fighting for you Bella. I am fighting so hard in a battle that I don't think I stand a chance in. I see how tied you are to Jacob and I have no idea if you feel any connection towards me at all anymore." Edward said grimly as he took his hand out of mine.

"I'll always feel a connection towards you Edward." I replied quietly.

He turned to me and leaned forward gently kissing me on the lips. He started to deepen the kiss and within seconds I was on my back, lying flat on my bed with Edward hovering above me. I tangled my hands in his hair as he moved his hands to underneath my shirt. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I allowed him access. We kept kissing like this for a while, only stopping for when I needed air. Occasionally, he would whisper sweet words in my ear like "I love you" or something simple like "You are so beautiful".

I was pretty sure that this was my heaven, but Jacob kept creeping into my thoughts. I needed to stop before it went any further but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Before I knew it, Edward had lifted my shirt off and over my head, tossing it to the side. I started to undo the buttons on his shirt and soon he was shirtless as well. I knew this was as far as we would normally go but it seemed that Edward didn't have any intentions to stop, yet. I guess he really was fighting for me.

I heard a rattling outside my window but I was too distracted to care and I guess Edward was too. It wasn't until we both heard the clearing of a throat over near the window that we pulled apart.

I gasped.

"Jacob?"

He stood there, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised and his lips in a tight line. His eyed raked my body up and down and I realised that he had a perfect view of the position that we were in and also that I was still shirtless. I quickly reached for my shirt but couldn't remember where Edward had thrown it.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to find something to hide behind.

"I came to apologise for the way I acted earlier. But I see you are a bit busy at the moment. I'll come by some other time." Jacob headed for the window but I jumped up and stopped him.

"Jake! Wait!" He turned around, and kept his eyes at my face. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks but I got over it in seconds. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"What?" Jacob replied, sounding quite angry.

"I need to talk to you, properly. Without every discussion ending with you jumping out of my window, mad at me." I said. I picked up a random shirt lying on top of my dresser and put it on quickly.

"Like at First Beach or something?" Jacob asked, his mood beginning to calm down.

I knew the beach in La Push was a good decision because that meant Edward wouldn't be able to follow me and listen in on our conversation.

"Sure, I'll come down anytime you're free." I stated.

Jacob rolled his eyes. I guess he was still mad at me. Fair enough.

"Fine, come by tomorrow around noon." And with that he jumped out the window hurriedly, again.

I sighed loudly and placed my hands over my face. This was really bad, not only did Jake come in while Edward was here but it had to be when we were both shirtless and kissing.

"Bella, don't cry Love." I had forgotten Edward was still standing near.

I was happy that Edward hadn't said anything to Jacob while he was here. Edward really was a gentleman. I knew it would have been hard for him to not butt in or argue with Jake.

"I'm sorry it's just that, I'm hurting you so much and I just don't know what to do." I sobbed.

He brought me into his arms and rubbed my back.

"One way or another, it will work out." He tried to cheer me up.

That statement sounded completely impossible at the moment.

But now I had another day to be completely nervous about. First beach, tomorrow, at noon.

One thing was certain though. It would surely end in tears, again.


	8. Chapter 8

**My Jacob or My Edward?**

A/N: Hi everyone. I just wanted to thank you all so much for your reviews, I really appreciate them.

* * *

**Chapter 8- Hopefully**

Last night did not go well. My cheeks were still red from the incident, or maybe they were red from all the crying. Either way I felt completely embarrassed, stupid and humiliated.

I crawled out of my bed and wiped the gunk out of my eyes. I had not slept well last night. As a matter of fact, did I even sleep at all? I walked up to my closet and pondered on what I would wear today. I tried on a red shirt, but I decided it looked to formal for the beach so I placed it on the arm of my rocking chair. I ended up wearing a cream jumper and a pair of denim jeans.

I slowly walked downstairs and poured myself a glass of orange juice. I noticed Charlie was not around; he must have left for work. It was then that it occurred to me that I had school today. I sighed. I should be at school; it was getting close to my graduation. But how could I? I had to see Jacob. And Jacob's feelings are by far more important than a couple of classes.

I looked over to the aged clock hanging on the living room wall. It was only nine o'clock. Three more hours until I could see my Jacob. The thought put a smile on my face but at the same time I felt scared. What would he think of me now?

After around two hours of studying and homework, I decided it was time to leave. I dashed into my truck, turned on the heater and drove off.

As I became closer to La push, my hands started to sweat and my stomach started to knot. It was a bit of a shock when I had parked my car in front of the beach and I stepped out. I hadn't actually registered I was doing any of this.

I walked down the smooth sand and looked around for Jacob, he wasn't anywhere in sight. I figured I was early so I sauntered to a familiar piece of driftwood and sat down on it as I began to wait for Jacob.

I was staring off into the distance and enjoying the feeling of the wind blowing against my face when I heard a faint "Bella."

I sprung up quickly and turned around. There standing before me was Jacob. My Jacob. I was unable to read his face at that moment. I didn't know if he was angry or sad or even happy that I was here. The last part sounded unlikely but I knew I was happy to see him. Whenever I was with Jake he made me feel more alive than ever. Even if he was irritated with me.

"Hi." I said as I gave him a feeble smile. I was lost on words.

"What did you want to talk about?" Jake asked, his voice sounding a bit agitated.

All hope that I had about Jacob wanting to see me had vanished. He obviously wanted to get this over with. But now that he mentioned it, what was I going to say to him?

I fixed my gaze on the wind-swept sand beneath his bare feet. It went silent for awhile. I had no idea what to say or how to start. Just as I was about to say something Jake cut in.

"Well how about I start?" Jake said calmly. "What were you thinking last night Bella!" He didn't sound so calm anymore.

"Um…" Was I managed to reply.

"Bella." He sighed. "Just tell me if you're back with him."

"I don't know Jake. I really don't know."

You know how I said I couldn't read Jacob's expression before? Well I could now. He wasn't hiding anything anymore. Pain spread across his face. He looked sullen and hurt. It made me feel even more terrible. I looked away; I couldn't stand seeing him like that.

"I don't know what came over me last night. I was upset that you left and I missed being with Edward. I wasn't thinking right. I'm so sorry." I apologised.

Jacob smirked and then groaned out loud.

"Bella, he left you. He left you in the woods alone. You could have gotten hurt or killed. What if Sam hadn't found you? You could have starved to death or a bloodsucker could have found you. Do you have any idea how much it annoys me that you can just go running back into his arms?"

Ugh. Of course Jake would exaggerate everything. It wasn't like that at all. It was my stupid fault for trying to follow Edward into the woods. How many times do I have to make it clear to him? Edward left for my own good. He was trying to protect me.

I swallowed back my words. I felt as if I was losing Jacob more and more every second since Edward had come back. I didn't want to upset him anymore. So I just nodded and looked away.

"What do you want from me Bella?" Jacob asked, his voice was only a whimper now.

"Aw Jake." I held back a sob. "That's the thing... I don't know what I want. I'm sorry for treating you like this. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"Can't you see that I love you? I would do anything for you Bella. I've tried so hard to be the best person I can for you. I'm aching for you Bella. I need you as much as you needed me when he left. So why the filthy blood sucker? Why not me?" Jacob commanded.

My heart started to pound in my chest. I had this urge to leap into his arms and kiss him with a fiery passion. I knew I couldn't though. I didn't want to feel guilty about it later. I didn't want to lead him on. Because if I did, I was just hurting him in the long run.

"I love you so much Bella. And I've run out of ideas. I've given you all of me."

_He needs me._

Jacob's words echoed in my mind.

_He needs me, he loves me, he's aching for me._

This is ridiculous. Absolutely fricken ridiculous. I wanted Jacob so badly right now but I have this feeling in my gut that once I see Edward, I'd change my mind again.

"Jake, I..." I looked down at my hands and fiddled with my fingers.

Jake put on a forced smile. "I get it Bella." He said as he turned around.

"Jacob, wait!" I called out.

He spun back around and faced me.

_Make a choice Bella. Now is the time!_

I smiled up at Jacob and walked over to him. I softly placed my hand on his bicep and looked up into his eyes.

Jake stared back at me with a questioning look.

_I can't let him go. I need him. I need him as much as he needs me. _

I answered his "questioning look" by rising onto my toes and pressing my lips against his.

I could feel him smiling into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around my waist and deepened it. He groaned as I draped my arms around his neck and entangled my fingers in his soft hair. I pressed my body right up against him. I missed this feeling.

"I'm so sorry Jake." I murmured in-between the kisses. "Do you forgive me?"

"Of course Bells." He replied while he traced his tongue over my lips and I more than willingly gave him entrance.

We stayed there, kissing fervently for what seemed like forever.

When we finally did break off, we both smiled at each other and he took my hand.

We paced along the beach together, just talking and having fun. It reminded me of back in the day when we were best friends. Time was flying by and we eventually walked up to my truck.

"I'll come by soon. I need to get to patrol." Jacob said.

"OK." I responded, grinning up at him.

"I'll see you soon." He leaned down and kissed me one last time before he left.

I stepped into my car and started to drive back home.

I felt accomplished. I felt happy. I was with Jacob.

There was only one hard part left... facing Edward.

Would I be able to break him the news? Would I fall back for his charm?

I mentally slapped myself. Yes, I will be able to tell him. And yes I will be able to resist him.

I have Jacob I reminded myself.

I arrived at home around six o'clock. I hadn't realised I had spent so much time with Jacob. Charlie was seated in his usual spot, watching TV.

"Sorry I'm late Dad." I called out as I made my way to the kitchen. "I'm starting dinner now."

"That's fine Bells." Charlie replied.

Half an hour later, dinner was finally complete. I felt my tummy grumble, I hadn't eaten anything all day.

"Smells good Bells." Charlie said like always as I started to serve it.

I smiled. "So how was work?" I asked as we both sat ourselves down at the table.

"It was actually quite busy today." Charlie said. "Bella there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it?" I asked. I hoped I wasn't in trouble.

"There have been a lot of disappearances at Seattle lately. We fear it's some gang activity." Charlie stated. "I don't want you going there at the moment ok?"

"Yeah, sure Dad." I answered. That was fine by me; I never really made plans to go up there anyway.

We finished dinner and Charlie made his way to his TV while I cleaned up.

Once I was done I said my goodnight to Charlie and walked upstairs.

This time before my shower I made sure I brought my pyjamas with me to the bathroom. I blushed, thinking about last time I had come out in a towel and Jacob was in my room.

I had a nice relaxing shower and washed my hair with my favourite strawberry shampoo. I then quickly changed into my pyjamas and brushed my teeth. Once everything was ready I finally walked over to bedroom and opened my door. I was expecting to see Jacob there but he wasn't. I assumed he must have been tired or on patrol. I knew he was busy and we had only just gotten back together but I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I went over to my window and opened it anyway, he might want to come by later.

Nevertheless I was dead tired as I didn't get any sleep from last night. I trudged over to my bed and collapsed onto it.

It had been a long day and I was very weak. I closed my eyes and eventually, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

*****

The next morning I woke up feeling much better. I hurriedly got ready for school then went to the kitchen and made myself some cereal.

I kept on replaying what happened with Jacob and me yesterday in my head. I was happy and I felt like I had made the right decision, by Jake. But what would happen when I see Edward again?

I groaned. I shouldn't be thinking like that. It wasn't fair for Jacob. It wasn't good for me.

I was now dreading school, not because I didn't like school but because Edward might be there. It made me wonder if any of the Cullens were going back. It seemed pretty pointless to me.

Well here comes another day of mysteries. At least now I was happy and I had Jake by my side.


	9. Chapter 9

**My Jacob or My Edward?**

A/N: Hey guys, i know it's been an awful long time since I updated but I won't bore you with my reasons. So here is chapter 9, I hope you like it. Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter and I encourage you all to do it again. Reviews are quite an amazing thing. Here's a quick summary of the last chapter as you might have forgetten what's been going on-

Chapter 8 Summary-

"Can't you see that I love you? I would do anything for you Bella. I've tried so hard to be the best person I can for you. I'm aching for you Bella. I need you as much as you needed me when he left. So why the filthy blood sucker? Why not me?" Jacob commanded.

My heart started to pound in my chest. I had this urge to leap into his arms and kiss him with a fiery passion. I knew I couldn't though. I didn't want to feel guilty about it later. I didn't want to lead him on. Because if I did, I was just hurting him in the long run.

"I love you so much Bella. And I've run out of ideas. I've given you all of me."

_He needs me._

Jacob's words echoed in my mind.

_He needs me, he loves me, he's aching for me._

This is ridiculous. Absolutely fricken ridiculous. I wanted Jacob so badly right now but I have this feeling in my gut that once I see Edward, I'd change my mind again.

"Jake, I..." I looked down at my hands and fiddled with my fingers.

Jake put on a forced smile. "I get it Bella." He said as he turned around.

"Jacob, wait!" I called out.

He spun back around and faced me.

_Make a choice Bella. Now is the time!_

I smiled up at Jacob and walked over to him. I softly placed my hand on his bicep and looked up into his eyes.

Jake stared back at me with a questioning look.

_I can't let him go. I need him. I need him as much as he needs me. _

I answered his "questioning look" by rising onto my toes and pressing my lips against his.

I could feel him smiling into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around my waist and deepened it. He groaned as I draped my arms around his neck and entangled my fingers in his soft hair. I pressed my body right up against him. I missed this feeling.

"I'm so sorry Jake." I murmured in-between the kisses. "Do you forgive me?"

"Of course Bells."

* * *

**Chapter 9- Enough**

School was boring but oddly relaxing. None of the Cullens had showed up which gave me the chance to relax and focus for the upcoming tests. I figured Edward or Alice wouldn't come back to school and certainly don't want to considering the mess we were in right now.

When I got back home I still hadn't heard from Jacob or Edward which was starting to worry me. I decided to call Jacob but only got a "Sorry Bella but Jake's out and really busy with the pack. He'll call you when he can" from Billy. Fair enough I had thought to myself but I was still anxious and a bit upset that Jacob hadn't made the effort to contact me or anything. Didn't he think I cared for him anymore? Didn't he know I was a complete worry wart when it came to him?

The whole day went really slow but I guess it was good that I could spend the day by myself without any vampire or werewolf drama. The rest of the day followed its usual routine; homework, cook, talk to Charlie, shower then bed.

Before I got into bed I opened my window as wide as possible, hoping that Jacob would come visit me tonight. With a bit of tossing and turning I eventually fell asleep with the thoughts of Jacob spread across my mind as if pictures of him were glued to the back of my eyelids.

Jacob never came back last night and surprisingly Edward didn't visit me either. I felt a little let down but I knew that Jacob didn't show up for a reason. Maybe Sam wanted him for patrol or there was an important pack meeting or whatever. However, I was now really worried and hurt, it had been 2 days and he hadn't made any effort to contact me. Why hadn't he come to see me? I needed to see him. I needed to be re-assured that he was mine. Jacob not contacting me was making me feel insecure and queasy. My worries subsided and turned into frustration. How could he do this to me?

Looking at the time, I got up and began to make my bed but stopped when I realised my second pillow wasn't there. I quickly examined my room in case I had thrown it or something while I was sleeping. Unfortunately I didn't come across a pillow though I did notice that my room looked tidier than it did last night. The red blouse that I tried on 2 days ago but decided it was to dressy for seeing Jacob wasn't on my rocking chair along with my grey sweat pants I left on the floor beside it. Also, I could have sworn I left a pair of dirty socks next to my bed last night. I walked over to my hamper; it wasn't bare but it wasn't spilling over like I thought it was yesterday. Charlie must have started doing laundry, which was a bit out of character but I had been lazy these past couple of days with the whole Edward and Jacob situation wearing me out. How nice of Charlie to do some of my clothes too. The red shirt however was clean so I went downstairs to save it from the wash.

To my surprise it wasn't in the hamper, I searched through the whole pile and I couldn't find it. I didn't see it in the washing machine or the dryer either. Where on earth did it go? Perhaps I was over thinking things and being paranoid once again but I didn't see any of my other dirty clothing in the wash either.

Breaking away from my thoughts, I overheard the front door slam. It was Charlie leaving for work which reminded me I needed to get ready for school too. I hurried back upstairs and got changed with the few clothes I had. I would ask Charlie where all my clothes were once we got back home. They had to be here somewhere...

I was distracted from my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring. My heart skipped a bit. It must be Jacob. I literally sprinted to the front door ready to pounce on Jake. I swung the door open and to my surprise stood Edward looking scarier than ever.

"Edward?" I asked a little frightened. He looked extremely angry and ready to attack.

He must know about Jake, that's why he looks so angry at me. I felt terrible that I wasn't the one to tell him. I felt a sharp pain in my heart; I didn't want to lose him. I began to panic as I was certain he was about to leave me. No. No. No. Please no. I chanted in my head like a crazy person.

"Look I'm—"I began to say.

"Bella, someone's been in here," he murmured "stay here, I'll be right back."

And with that he ran past me at lightning speed while I stood frozen with shock and confusion. What the hell was going on? I barely had the chance to calm myself when Edward pulled me inside by my arm.

"Edward, what's going on?" I almost shouted.

"Someone's been in here Bella." He said tensely "A vampire."

His manner made it obvious that he didn't like this "vampire". I suddenly felt weak and dizzy.

"Victoria..."

He shook his, "It's not a scent I recognise."

"Then who could it possibly be?"

"I don't know Bella but I promise you I'm going to find out." Edward snarled.

"Edward, when did they come?" My voice was barely a whisper as I feared the answer to this question.

His eyes softened a tiny bit at my voice. "Late last night Bella, while you and Charlie were sleeping," he sighed "and whoever it was, obviously had a purpose if they didn't harm you or Charlie."

"Looking for something?" I suggested, that would explain all my missing items.

"Come on, I'm getting you out of here, go pack your bags." Edward pushed me up to my room.

"B-But Charlie?" I stuttered.

"Will be fine," He promised. Edward pulled out his phone and talked to Carlisle so fast, I tried to understand what he was saying but I barely got a word. "Emmett and Jasper will sweep the woods, Charlie's safe" he told me.

Before I could blink Edward had me in his car, his eyes focused on the road ahead of him. His posture was stiff and his expression was one of a grumpy old man.

"Where are we going now?" I asked as I focused my eyes on the boring scenery outside my passenger seat window.

"To my house. You aren't safe at yours Bella." He spoke bluntly, as if I didn't have any say in the matter.

"What? You're going to keep me locked inside as if I'm on house arrest?" I asked.

"Yes." He replied as if it were a matter–of-fact. "But you won't be inside all the time, there's still school."

I couldn't believe he was doing this. I get that he was trying to help me but didn't he realize I had a life outside of him?

"No Edward. I have a father... whom I live with that will not let that happen." And Jake I thought to myself. Oh Jake, what is going on with you?

"Bella, please understand that this is not the time to argue. We'll discuss this later ok?" Was he pleading with me? "But for now, we need to talk to Alice."

"Fine." I said in a robotic tone. "Do you think Alice saw something?"

"I don't know, she better have" he replied as he pulled up to his house.

Alice, Carlisle and Rose were all standing awkwardly in various places across the living room, Jasper and Emmett hadn't come back yet. Esme ran up to me and gave me a comforting hug.

"I'm glad you're alright Bella" she whispered in my ear and ushered me out of the room.

Why was she taking me away from them? I hated that they didn't want me there. Were they trying to hide me from something? Protect me? Did they think I couldn't handle it?

"Where are we going Esme?" I looked back to see Edward arguing with Alice about her not seeing any of this in the future. That seemed hardly fair, it wasn't Alice's fault. I wanted march back in there and stick up for her.

"Sorry Bella but they need to talk. Are you hungry? Would you like me to make you something?

"Esme" I looked at her with pleading eyes. "What is going on? I'm tired of being in the dark all the time. Please."

Esme heaved a heavy sigh. "I'm not sure Bella, but who ever went into your room last night had no intention of hurting you. Or Charlie for that matter. It's going to be fine." She said as she rubbed my back.

I dropped my head into my hands and let out a long shaky breath. I was so sick of this drama and I just wanted to go home. Charlie was in danger because of me, the Cullens were yet again involved in another vampire catastrophe because of me and surely Jake hasn't been around because of me.

The thought of Jake made my heart beat a little faster. Why hadn't I told Edward about him? I myself didn't know the answer to that question. I'd like to blame it on the speed of the day and me not having the chance to talk to Edward calmly. But secretly, I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle losing him. I wouldn't be able to lose either of them. This whole situation was so screwed up and I was the cause of it. It was as if I wanted Jake but needed Edward. Where was the balance in that?

"Bella?" Edward's soothing voice came from behind me.

I got up swiftly and turned to face his handsome face. "Yes?" He was calm now, more relaxed.

"I'll take you home now." He smiled up at me, the smile was forced though, it didn't reach his eyes.

Even though Edward was a lot more calm and pleasant driving me home then he was driving me to his, he wasn't any more likeable. I was annoyed because yet again he had somehow managed to persuade me into his ridiculous over protective plans.

"So I won't be alone for a second? There will always be one of you looking out for me?" I repeated in an exasperated tone.

"That's right" he said, giving me one his crooked smiles that made my tingle.

"Edward, you don't think this is a just a little overboard?"

"Bella," he said as he parked the car outside my house. Edward turned to face me and placed both his hands around my face. "Overboard or not, I'm not putting you in that kind of danger ever again. I'm not letting anything happen to you, I love you.

I smiled up at him and nodded not wanting anything further to happen.

"I better go, I'm really tired. Thank you Edward." I said quietly.

He gave me a confused look but nodded anyway. "I'll see you tomorrow Bella.

With a last goodbye I made it inside, greeted Charlie and collapsed onto my bed, pulling out my tattered book of Wuthering Heights. I wasn't in the mood for anything except reading my favourite book.

Around an hour later I had just about had enough of it when I heard a heavy thump next the window.

I put the book down abruptly and quickly looked up. It was Jake.


End file.
